The Banquet
Project Gutenberg EPUB3 edition
Xenophon and Dakyns, Henry Graham
(6) "The Syracusan is 'civil as an orange, and of that jealous complexion.'"
The Syr. They call you Socrates. Are you that person commonly nicknamed the thinker? (7)
(7) Apparently he has been to see the "Clouds" (exhibited first in 423 B.C.), and has conceived certain ideas concerning Socrates, "a wise man, who speculated about the heaven above, and searched into the earth beneath, and made the worse appear the better cause." Plat. "Apol." 18 B, 19 C. "Clouds," 101, 360, {khair o presbuta ... ton nun meteorosophiston... ta te meteora phrontistes}.
Soc. Which surely is a better fate than to be called a thoughtless person?
The Syr. Perhaps, if you were not thought to split your brains on things above us—transcendental stuff. (8)
(8) Or, "if only you were held to be less 'meteoric,' less head-in- airy in your speculations."
Soc. And is there anything more transcendental than the gods?
The Syr. By heaven! no, it is not the gods above us whom you care for, but for matters void of use and valueless. (9)
(9) It is impossible to give the play on words. The Syr. {anophelestaton}. Soc. {ano... ophelousin}. Schenkl after Madvig emend.: {ton ano en nephelais onton} = "but for things in the clouds above."
Soc. It seems, then, by your showing I do care for them. How value less the gods, not more, if being above us they make the void of use to send us rain, and cause their light to shine on us? And now, sir, if you do not like this frigid (10) argument, why do you cause me trouble? The fault is yours. (11)
(10) Cf. "Cyrop." VIII. iv. 22, 23. (11) {pho parekhousin... pragmata moi parekhon}. Lit. "cause light ... causing me trouble."
Well, let that be (the other answered); answer me one question: How many fleas' feet distance is it, pray, from you to me? (12) They say you measure them by geometric scale.
(12) See Aristoph. "Clouds," 144 foll.:
{aneret' arti Khairephonta Sokrates psullan oposous alloito tous autes podas dakousa gar...}
Cf. Lucian, ii. "Prom. in Verb. 6," and "Hudibras, the Second Part of," canto iii.:
How many scores a Flea will jump Of his own length from Head to Rump Which Socrates and Chaerephon In vain essayed so long agon.
But here Antisthenes, appealing to Philippus, interposed: You are a man full of comparisons. (13) Does not this worthy person strike you as somewhat like a bully seeking to pick a quarrel? (14)
(13) Like Biron, "L. L. L." v. 2. 854. Or, "you are a clever caricaturist." See Plat. "Symp." 215 A; Hug, "Enleitung," xiv.; Aristoph. "Birds," 804 (Frere, p. 173); "Wasps," 1309. (14) Aristoph. "Frogs," 857, "For it ill beseems illustrious bards to scold like market-women." (Frere, p. 269); "Knights," 1410, "to bully"; "Eccles." 142:
{kai loidorountai g' osper empepokotes, kai ton paroinount' ekpherous' oi toxotai.}
Yes (replied the jester), he has a striking likeness to that person and a heap of others. He bristles with metaphors.
Soc. For all that, do not you be too eager to draw comparisons at his expense, or you will find yourself the image of a scold and brawler. (15)
(15) Or, "a striking person."
Phil. But what if I compare him to all the primest creatures of the world, to beauty's nonpareils, (16) to nature's best—I might be justly likened to a flatterer but not a brawler. (17)
(16) Lit. "compare him to those in all things beauteous and the best." With {tois pasi kalois kai tois beltistois} cf. Thuc. v. 28, {oi 'Argeioi arista eskhon tois pasi}, "The Argives were in excellent condition in all respects." As to Philippus's back-handed compliment to the showman, it reminds one of Peter Quince's commendation of Bottom: "Yea and the best person too; and he is a very paramour for a sweet voice." (17) It is not easy to keep pace with the merryman's jests; but if I follow his humour, he says to Socrates: "If the cap is to fit, you must liken me to one who quits 'assault and battery' for 'compliments (sotto voce, "lies") and flattery.'"
Soc. Why now, you are like a person apt to pick a quarrel, since you imply they are all his betters. (18)
(18) When Socrates says {ei pant' autou beltio phes einai, k.t.l.}, the sense seems to be: "No, if you say that all these prime creatures are better than he is, you are an abusive person still."
Phil. What, would you have me then compare him to worse villains?
Soc. No, not even to worse villains.
Phil. What, then, to nothing, and to nobody?
Soc. To nought in aught. Let him remain his simple self—
Phil. Incomparable. But if my tongue is not to wag, whatever shall I do to earn my dinner?
Soc. Why, that you shall quite easily, if with your wagging tongue you do not try to utter things unutterable.
Here was a pretty quarrel over wine soon kindled and soon burnt.
VII
But on the instant those who had not assisted in the fray gave tongue, the one part urging the jester to proceed with his comparisons, and the other part dissuading.
The voice of Socrates was heard above the tumult: Since we are all so eager to be heard at once, what fitter time than now to sing a song, in chorus.
And suiting the action to the words, he commenced a stave.
The song was barely finished, when a potter's wheel was brought in, on which the dancing-girl was to perform more wonders.
At this point Socrates addressed the man of Syracuse: It seems I am likely to deserve the title which you gave me of a thinker in good earnest. Just now I am speculating by what means your boy and girl may pass a happy time, and we spectators still derive the greatest pleasure from beholding them; and this, I take it, is precisely what you would yourself most wish. Now I maintain, that throwing somersaults in and out of swords is a display of danger uncongenial to a banquet. And as for writing and reading on a wheel that all the while keeps whirling, I do not deny the wonder of it, but what pleasure such a marvel can present, I cannot for the life of me discover. Nor do I see how it is a whit more charming to watch these fair young people twisting about their bodies and imitating wheels than to behold them peacefully reposing.
We need not fare far afield to light on marvels, if that is our object. All about us here is full of marvel; we can begin at once by wondering, why it is the candle gives a light by dint of its bright flame, while side by side with it the bright bronze vessel gives no light, but shows within itself those other objects mirrored. (1) Or, how is it that oil, being moist and liquid, keeps that flame ablaze, but water, just because it is liquid, quenches fire. But no more do these same marvels tend to promote the object of the wine-cup. (2)