CHAPTER XXX. Self-disparagement.
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Valmiki and Mitra, Viharilala
Seeing the world thus ingulphed amidst the abyss of hundreds of rising dangers and difficulties, my mind is immerged in the mire of anxieties.
2. My mind is wandering everywhere and I am struck with fear at every thing; my limbs are shaking with fear like the leaves of a withered tree.
3. My mind is bewildered by impatience for its want of true contentment, just as a young woman is afraid in a desert for want of the company of her strong handed husband.
4. The thoughts of my mind are entangled in my desire for worldly enjoyments, as stags are caught in the pit strewn with grass over it.
5. The senses of an unreasonable man, ever run astray to the wrong and never turn to the right way; so the eyes of a blind man lead him but to fall into the pit.
6. Human thoughts are linked to the animal soul as consorts to their lords. They can neither sit idle nor ramble at liberty, but must remain as wives under the control of their husbands.
7. My patience is almost worn out, like that of a creeper under the winter frost. It is decayed, and neither lives nor perishes at once.
8. Our minds are partly settled in worldly things, and partly fixed in their giver (the Supreme soul). This divided state of the mind is termed its half waking condition.
9. My mind is in a state of suspense, being unable to ascertain the real nature of my soul. I am like one in the dark, who is deceived by the stump of a fallen tree at a distance, to think it a human figure.
10. Our minds are naturally fickle and wandering all about the earth. They cannot forsake their restlessness, as the vital airs cannot subsist without their motion.
11. Tell me Oh sage, what is that state of life which is dignified above others, which is unassociated with the troubles (incident to birth and death), unqualified by the conditions of humanity, and apart from errors, and wherein griefs are unknown.
12. (Tell me also) how Janaka and the other good men, who are conspicuous for their ceremonious acts, and distinguished for their good conduct, have acquired their excellence (in holy knowledge).
13. (Tell me likewise) Oh source of my honor, how a man, who is besmeared all over his body with the dirt of worldliness, may yet be cleansed and get rid of it.
14. Tell me what is that knowledge, by resorting to which, the serpents of worldliness, may be freed from their worldly crookedness, and become straight in their conduct.
15. Tell me how the foulness of my heart may regain its clearness, after it is so much soiled by errors and tainted with evils, like a lake disturbed by elephants and polluted with dirt.
16. How is it possible for one engaged in the affairs of the world, to be untainted with its blemishes, and remain as pure and intact as a drop of water on the lotus leaf.
17. How may one attain his excellence by dealing with others as with himself, and minding the goods of others as straws, and by remaining aloof from love.
18. Who is that great man that has got over the great ocean of the world, whose exemplary conduct (if followed) exempts one from misery.
19. What is the best of things that ought to be pursued after, and what is that fruit which is worth obtaining? Which is the best course of life in this inconsistent world.
20. Tell me the manner by which I may have a knowledge of the past and future events of the world, and the nature of the unsteady works of its creator.
21. Do so, that my mind which is as the moon in the sky of my heart, may be cleared of its impurities.
22. Tell me what thing is most delectable to the mind, and what most abominable to it; as also how this fickle and inconstant mind may get its fixedness like that of a rock.
23. Tell me what is that holy charm, which can remove this cholic pain of worldliness, that is attended with numberless troubles.
24. Tell me how can I entertain within my heart, the blossoms of the arbor of heavenly happiness, that sheds about it the coolness of the full-moon beams.
25. Oh ye good men! that are present and learned in divine knowledge, teach me so that I may obtain the fullness of my heart, and may not come to grief and sorrow any more.
26. My mind is devoid of that tranquility which results chiefly from holy happiness, and is perplexed with endless doubts, that disturb my peace as the dogs molest smaller animals in the desert.