6. MARRIAGE
Project Gutenberg EPUB3 edition
Skeat, Walter William
When the term of betrothal is drawing to its close, a suitable day (which is frequently a Tuesday) is chosen for the work of decoration (bĕrgantong-gantong) by the parents of both parties, and notified to the relations and friends who wish to assist in the preparations for the wedding.75
Both houses are decorated with vertically striped hangings (p’lang tabir) and ornamental ceiling-cloths (langit-langit), and mats, rugs, carpets, etc. are laid down. In the bridegroom’s house little is done beyond erecting a small platform or dais (pĕtărana) about six feet square, and raised about ten inches from the floor, upon which he is to don his wedding garments when he sets out to meet the bride. A similar platform (pĕtărana) is erected in the bride’s house, and a low dais called rambat in front of her door, at the outer corners of which are fixed two standard candlesticks (tiang rambat), which are sometimes as much as six feet high, and each of which carries three candles, one in the centre and one on each side, those at the side being supported by ornamental brackets (sulor bayong). The rambat may measure some 14 feet in length by 5 feet in width, and should be about 14 inches in height.
A dais (with two steps to it) is then built as follows, generally opposite the doorway, but standing a little way back from it, and facing the rambat, so as to leave a narrow passage (tela kĕchil) between the threshold and the dais, which latter is decked with scarlet, or at least scarlet-bordered cloth (kain bĕrumpok dĕngan săkalat). The lower step of the dais (ibu g’rei) is raised about 12 inches from the floor, and measures from 10 feet to 12 feet in length by 8 feet in width. The upper step (g’rei pĕnapah) is a little smaller, and is only raised about 10 inches above the lower one. The top of the dais is covered with a mattress, and both steps are decorated with expensive borders, which at the wedding of a Raja are made of embossed gold or silver, and may easily cost as much as $150 each, or even more. The mattress is covered in its turn with a quilt (lihap or pĕlampap), made of coloured silk stuffed with cotton; upon this quilt is laid a white cotton sheet, and the whole is surmounted by a row of colossal “pillows” (of the size of small packing-cases), surmounted by others of moderate size.
A mosquito-curtain is hung over all, and the completed couch is called pĕlamin. The head of the pĕlamin, it must be added, where the pillows are piled, is always on the left-hand side as you look towards it.
The number of the pillows used is of the highest importance, as indicating the rank of the contracting parties. The larger ones are about 5 feet in length and 2 feet in height by 1½ feet in width. They are covered with rich embroidery at the exposed end, and are arranged in a horizontal row (sa-tunda), with their sides just touching, in the front left-hand corner of the mosquito-curtain, so as to leave a clear passage of about 3 feet behind them (at the back of the curtain) by which the bride and bridegroom may escape to the pĕraduan after the ceremony. These big pillows are white, with the exception of the embroidered ends, unless they are intended for a Raja, when the royal colour (yellow) is of course substituted. The one nearest the centre of the couch is called bantal tumpu, and usually has a hexagonal or (in the case of a Raja) octagonal bolster deposited beside it.
The smaller pillows are red (occasionally purple, ungu, or orange, jingga), and are called the “embroidered pillows” (bantal bĕrtĕkat, or bantal p’rada). Occasionally a set of twelve small pillows is used (when they are called bantal dua-b’las, or the Twelve Pillows), but often there is only one of them to each “Big Pillow,” the set of twelve being said to be an innovation, probably introduced from Malacca. Sometimes, however, when many small pillows are piled upon each other, measures have to be taken to keep them from falling, in which case the space between the piles is said to be filled up with wool or cotton stuffing (pĕnyĕlat), the front being covered with embroidered cloth, the upper border of which is carried up diagonally from the top of one pile to the top of the next.
As regards the permissible number of big pillows, according to a scale in use at Klang, the common people are allowed three big pillows (including the bantal tumpu); a wealthy man, four; and a Headman, such as the ’Toh Kaya Kĕchil, five; a Raja being presumably allowed one or two more. According to this scale it is only the big pillows that are of importance,76 and the people are allowed to use as few or as many small ones as they like. The topmost small pillow, however, is always triangular, and is called gunong-gunongan.
Plate 10.—Curtain Fringe.
Pattern of fringe used for the mosquito curtain at Malay wedding ceremonies, called daun budi, or the Bo-leaf fringe.
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The mosquito-curtain (enclosing the couch on which the pillows rest) of course varies in size according to the dimensions of the pĕlamin, but may be roughly taken to be from 7 to 9 hasta77 in length, by 8 ft. in width, and 4 ft. to 5 ft. in height (reaching to the ceiling-cloth). Its upper edges (kansor) are stiffened externally with a square frame, consisting of four bamboo rods (galah k’lambu), and it is decorated in front with a beautifully embroidered fringe called “Bo-tree leaves” (daun budi). The front of this mosquito-curtain is rolled up78 to within 2 or 3 ft. of the top, instead of being drawn aside as usual. At the back of the curtain is suspended, except in the case of a Raja’s wedding, a bamboo clothes-rod (buluh sangkutkan kain). This rod terminates at each extremity in an ornamental piece of scroll-work (sulor bayong) covered with scarlet cloth, which is sometimes made to issue from a short stem of horn or ivory, and has a wooden collar called dulang-dulang. This dulang-dulang, moreover, is sometimes provided with small hollows (’mbat-’mbat) at the top, two in front which are filled with rose-water or perfume (ayer mawar or ayer wangi), and two at the back which are filled with flowers.
Above the clothes-rod, and between its suspending cords (tali pĕnggantong)—which, by the way, are also covered with scarlet cloth—an inner fringe of “Bo-leaves” (daun budi dalam) is sometimes added at the top of the curtain.
At the wedding of a Raja nothing else should be put inside the curtain, but at an ordinary wedding a few small articles of typical marriage furniture are usually added as follows:—
Three or four small clothes boxes (saharah), such as are kept by every Malay family, and pĕti kapor (boxes whose corners are strengthened and decorated with brass) are ranged upon the mattress just below the clothes-rod. Upon these should be placed (a) the bangking, which is a kind of jar or urn of lacquered wood, ranging from about half a foot to a foot in height, and contains a portion of the bride’s wardrobe; and (b) the bun,79 which is either octagonal (pĕchah d’lapan), or hexagonal (pĕchah anam), as the case may be, and which may be described as a box of tin, or sometimes of lacquered wood, whose contents are as follows:—(1) a couple of combs (sikat dua bilah), one with large and one with small teeth; (2) a small cup or saucer of hair oil (a preparation of cocoa-nut oil), or attar of roses (minyak attar), or pomatum (kateneh); (3) a small pen-knife for paring the nails; (4) a pair of scissors; (5) a preparation of antimony (chĕlak), which is a sort of black ointment applied by the Malays to the inside edge of the eyelids; and (6) a Malay work-box (called dulang in Selangor and bintang at Malacca), which is a circular box of painted or lacquered wood, furnished with a lid, and containing needles, cotton, and the rest of the Malay housewife’s paraphernalia.
Near the door of the curtain is placed an earthenware water-jar, called gĕlok (gĕlok Kĕdah and gĕlok Perak are the usual “makes”); this jar stands upon a small brass or earthenware plate with high sides (bokor), and its mouth is covered with a brass or earthenware saucer (chepir), on which is laid the brass or earthenware bowl (pĕnchedok ayer or batil) which is used for scooping up water from the water-jar, and which, when it is in use, is temporarily replaced by an ornamental cap woven from strips of screw-palm leaves. A couple of candlesticks placed near the water-jar, a betel tray (tepah or puan), a basin (batil bĕsar) for washing off the lees of henna, and a “cuspadore” (kĕtor), all of which are placed inside the curtain, complete the preparations for this portion of the ceremony.
The day concludes, as far as the workers are concerned, with a meal in which all who have assisted in the preparations take part, and this is followed by various diversions dear to Malays, such as the chanting of passages from the Korān.80
At a royal wedding, either the “Story of ’Che Mĕgat” (’Che Mĕgat Mantri), or a royal cock-fight (main dĕnok), or a performance by dancing girls or fencers (pĕdikir), may be substituted for these more devotional exercises.
These performances (whatever they may be) are kept up (with intervals for rest and refreshment) till four or five in the morning, when the guests disperse to their respective homes to sleep off the night’s fatigue.
Whilst the games are progressing (at about nine or ten P.M.) the first staining of the finger-nails of the bride and bridegroom is commenced, the ceremony on this occasion being conducted in the seclusion of the inner apartments, and hence called the “Stolen Henna-staining” (bĕrhinei churi). Leaves of henna are taken and pounded together with a small piece of charcoal, and the “mash” is applied to the finger-nails of both hands (with the exception of the middle or “Devil’s finger,” jari hantu). The centre of each palm is also touched with the dye, the area stained being as much as would be covered by a dollar. A line (of a finger’s breadth) is also said to be drawn along the inner side of the sole of each foot, from the great toe to the heel (hinei kaus).
Plate 11.—Fig. 1. Bridal Bouquets.
Bridal bouquets of artificial flowers and betel-leaves carried by bride and bridegroom, that on the left being the bridegroom’s.
Fig. 2. The Henna Cake, etc.
Three models of wedding apparatus: the one on the left represents the “henna cake” used at the “henna dance” during the ceremony of staining the finger-nails. The second represents the bouquet of artificial flowers, with coloured eggs and streamers, which must be presented to each guest at a wedding. The model of the buffalo shows the way in which these animals are dressed for presentation to a Raja.
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A couple of what we should call “pages,” of about ten years of age, are seated right and left of the bridegroom, and are called Pĕngapit.
The bride usually provides herself with one or more girl companions; but these are supposed to “hide themselves” when there is company, their place being taken by more staid duennas, who are called Tukang Andam (i.e. “coiffeurs”), and a personal attendant or nurse, called Ma’inang (Mak Inang), who appears to act as a sort of Mistress of the Ceremonies.
The second day is spent by the guests (as was said above) in sleeping off their night’s fatigue, and they do not reassemble till evening, at about five P.M.
When the last has arrived (at about seven P.M.) a meal is served, and at about half-past eight the games recommence; but after a round or so (zikir sa-jurus), say at about ten P.M., the bride at her house and bridegroom at his respectively make their first appearance in public, clad in their wedding garments, for the ceremony of staining the finger-nails, this time in public. When they are seated (between the two candlesticks, which are lighted to facilitate the operation) a tray is brought forward, furnished with the usual accessories of Malay magic, rice-paste (tĕpong tawar), washed rice, “saffron” rice, and parched rice, to which is added, in this instance, a sort of pudding of the pounded henna-leaves. A censer is next produced, and a brass tray with a foot to it (called sĕmb’rip) is loaded with nasi bĕrhinei (pulut or “glutinous” rice stained with saffron), in which are planted some ten to fifteen purple eggs (dyed with a mixture of brazil wood (sĕpang) and lime, and stuck upon ornamental sprays of bamboo decorated with coloured paper).
The bride (or bridegroom) is then seated in a “begging” attitude, with the hands resting upon a cushion placed in the lap; the first of the guests then takes a pinch of incense from the tray and burns it in the brazier (tĕmpat bara); next he takes a pinch of parched rice, a pinch of newly-washed rice, and a pinch of saffron rice, and, squeezing them together in the right fist, fumigates them by holding them for a moment over the burning incense, and then throws them towards the sitter, first towards the right, then towards the left, and finally into the sitter’s lap.
The “Neutralising Paste”81 is then brought and the usual leaf-brush dipped into the bowl of paste, with which the forehead of the sitter and the back of each hand are duly “painted.”
A pinch of the henna is then taken and dabbed upon the centre of each palm, the hands of the sitter being turned over to enable this to be done.
The sitter then salutes the guest by raising his (or her) hands with the palms together before the breast in an attitude of prayer; the guest replies by a similar action, and the ceremony is at an end.
The same operation is performed by from five to seven, or even nine, relations (Orang Waris, lit. “Heirs,”) the last operator concluding with an Arabic prayer.
While this ceremony is proceeding inside, music strikes up and a special dance, called the Henna Dance (mĕnari hinei),82 is performed, a picturesque feature of which is a small cake of henna, which is contained in a brazen cup (gompong hinei) and surrounded by candles. This cup is carried by the dancer,83 who has to keep turning it over and over without letting the candles be extinguished by the wind arising from the rapid motion.
The step, which is a special one, is called the “Henna-dance Step” (Langkah tar’ hinei, i.e. tari hinei), and the tune is called the “Henna-staining tune” (Lagu bĕrhinei).
This ceremony over, the “henna-staining” rice (nasi bĕrhinei) is partaken of by those present, the remainder being distributed to the guests engaged in “main zikir.”
On the third night the same ceremonies are repeated without variation.
On the fourth morning, called the “Concluding Day” (Hari Langsong), everybody puts on his finest apparel and jewellery.
Plate 12.—Fig. 1. Bridegroom’s Head-dress.
Head-dress worn by the bridegroom at the ceremony of the hari langsong.