Plain Facts for Old and Young

Books almost without number have been written upon the subject treated in this work. Unfortunately, most of these works are utterly unreliable, being filled with gross misrepresentations and exaggerations, and being designed as advertising mediums for ignorant and unscrupulous charlatans, or worse than worthless patent nostrums. To add to their power for evil, many of them abound with pictorial illustrations which are in no way conducive to virtue or morality, but rather stimulate the animal propensities and excite lewd imaginations. Books of this character are usually widely circulated; and their pernicious influence is fully as great as that of works of a more grossly obscene character. In most of the few instances in which the evident motive of the author is not of an unworthy character, the manner of presenting the subject is unfortunately such that it more frequently than otherwise has a strong tendency in a direction exactly the opposite of that intended and desired. The writer of this work has endeavored to avoid the latter evil by adopting a style of presentation quite different from that generally pursued. Instead of restricting the reader's attention rigidly to the sexual function in man, his mind is diverted by frequent references to corresponding functions in lower animals and in the vegetable kingdom. By this means, not only is an additional fund of information imparted, but the sexual function in man is divested of its sensuality.

It is viewed as a fact of natural history, and is associated with the innocence of animal life and the chaste loveliness of flowers. Thus the subject comes to be regarded from a purely physiological standpoint, and is liberated from the gross animal instinct which is the active cause of sensuality.

There are so many well-meaning individuals who object to the agitation of this subject in any manner whatever, that it may be profitable to consider in this connection some of the principal objections which are urged against imparting information on sexual subjects, especially against giving knowledge to the young.

This objection is often raised, it being urged that these matters are too delicate to be even suggested to children; that they ought to be kept in total ignorance of all sexual matters and relations until nature indicates that they are fit to receive them. It is doubtless true that children raised in a perfectly natural way would have no sexual thoughts until puberty, at least, and it would be better if it might be so; but from facts pointed out in succeeding portions of this work, it is certain that at the present time children nearly always do have some vague ideas of sexual relations long before puberty, and often at a very early age. It is thus apparent that by speaking to children of sexual matters in a proper manner, a new subject is not introduced to them, but it is merely presenting to them in a true light a subject of which they already have vague ideas; and thus, by satisfying a natural curiosity, they are saved from supplying by their imaginations distorted images and exaggerated conceptions, and from seeking to obtain the desired information from evil sources whence they would derive untold injury.

What reason is there that the subject of the sexual functions should be treated with such maudlin secrecy? Why should the function of generation be regarded as something low and beastly, unfit to be spoken of by decent people on decent occasions? We can conceive of no answer except the worse than beastly use to which the function has been so generally put by man. There is nothing about the sexual organism which makes it less pure than the lungs or the stomach. "Unto the pure all things are pure," may have been written especially for our times, when there is such a vast amount of mock modesty; when so much pretense of virtue covers such a world of iniquity and vice. The young lady who goes into a spasm of virtuous hysterics upon hearing the word "leg," is perhaps just the one who at home riots her imagination in voluptuous French novels, if she commits no grosser breach of chastity. The parents who are the most opposed to imparting information to the young are often those who have themselves indulged in sexual excesses. In the minds of such persons the sexual organs and functions, and everything even remotely connected with them, are associated only with ideas of lust and gross sensuality. No wonder that they wish to keep such topics in the dark. With such thoughts they cannot well bear the scrutiny of virtue.

Very true, knowledge is dangerous, but ignorance is more dangerous still; or, rather, partial knowledge is more dangerous than a more complete understanding of facts. Children, young people, will not grow up in innocent ignorance. If, in obedience to custom, they are not encouraged to inquire of their parents about the mysteries of life, they will seek to satisfy their curiosity by appealing to older or better informed companions. They will eagerly read any book which promises any hint on the mysterious subject, and will embrace every opportunity, proper or improper—and most likely to be the latter—of obtaining the coveted information. Knowledge obtained in this uncertain and irregular way must of necessity be very unreliable. Many times—generally, in fact—it is of a most corrupting character, and the clandestine manner in which it is obtained is itself corrupting and demoralizing. A child ought to be taught to expect all such information from its parents, and it ought not to be disappointed.

Again, while it is true that knowledge is dangerous, it is equally true that this dangerous knowledge will be gained sometime, at any rate; and as it must come, better let it be imparted by the parent, who can administer proper warnings and cautions along with it, than by any other individual. Thus may the child be shielded from injury to which he would otherwise be certainly exposed.

If human beings received much of their knowledge through instinct, as animals do, this might be a proper course; but man gets his knowledge largely by instruction. Young people will get their first knowledge of sexual matters mostly by instruction from some source. How much better, then, as we have already shown, to let them obtain this knowledge from the most natural and most reliable source!

"But putting aside the question whether we ought to hide this subject wholly from the young if we could, the truth, it is to be feared, is that we cannot if we would. Admitting it to be desirable, every man of experience in life will pronounce it to be impracticable. If, then, we cannot prevent the minds of children from being engaged in some way on this subject, may it not be better to forestall evil impressions by implanting good ones, or at least to mingle such good ones with the evil as the nature of the case admits? Let us be at least as wise as the crafty enemy of man, and cast in a little wheat with his tares; and among the most effectual methods of doing this is to impart to the young just and religious views of the nature and purposes of the relation which the Creator has established between the two sexes."

When Shall Information Be Given?—It is a matter of some difficulty to decide the exact age at which information on sexual subjects should be given to the young. It may be adopted as a safe rule, however, that a certain amount of knowledge should be imparted as soon as there is manifested a curiosity in this direction. If there is reason to believe that the mind of the child is exercised in this direction, even though he may have made no particular inquiries, information should not be withheld.

How to Impart Proper Knowledge.—No little skill may be displayed in introducing these subjects to the mind of the young person in such a way as to avoid arousing his passions and creating sexual excitement. Perhaps the general plan followed in the first portion of this work will be found a very pleasant and successful method if studied thoroughly and well executed.

All information should not be given at once. First obtain the child's confidence, and assure him by candor and unreserve that you will give him all needed information; then, as he encounters difficulties, he will resort for explanation where he knows he will receive satisfaction. When the little one questions, answer truthfully and carefully.

"When we are little boys and girls, our first inquiries about our whence are answered by the authoritative dogma of the 'silver spade;' we were dug up with that implement. By degrees the fact comes forth. The public, however, remains for ages in the silver-spade condition of mind with regard to the science of the fact; and the doctors foster it by telling us that the whole subject is a medical property.... There is nothing wrong in the knowing; and, though the passions might be stimulated in the first moments by such information, yet in the second instance they will be calmed by it; and, ceasing to be inflamed by the additional goad of curiosity and imagination, they will cool down under the hydropathic influences of science. Well-stated knowledge did never yet contribute to human inflammation; and we much question whether the whole theory of the silver spade be not a mistake; and whether children should not be told the truth from the first; that before desire and imagination are born, the young mind may receive, in its cool innocency, a knowledge of the future objects of powers and faculties which are to be subject afterward to such strong excitements."

The experience of hundreds in the circulation of this work has proven beyond all chance for question the truth of the foregoing remarks, and often in a most striking manner. Scores of persons have written us, "I would give all I possess in this world could I have had a copy of 'Plain Facts' placed in my hands when I was a lad," or, "Words cannot express the gratitude I would now feel had some kind friend imparted to me the invaluable information which this book contains; it would have saved me a life of wretchedness."

We have had the satisfaction of knowing in numerous instances that the virtue and happiness of whole families have been secured by the timely warnings of danger which parents have obtained from this work. We are glad to be able to feel that it is now thoroughly demonstrated that intelligent persons who have given this subject thought universally approve of the objects of the work and the manner of presenting the subject adopted in it. Those who at first question the propriety of discussing the subject so freely and thoroughly as is here done, lose their prejudice entirely upon giving the work a careful perusal. In numerous instances it has occurred that those who were most decided in their denunciations have become the most zealous and efficient agents in its circulation after becoming more fully acquainted with it.